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Love is a verb

We fall out of love “very slowly, then all at once.”

“Love is a verb.”

This is a beautiful description of how relationships work that accords with how so many big changes in life really happen. Success doesn’t happen overnight, neither does physical fitness, and neither does relationship breakdown. Nearly all big goals come from weathering small setbacks and making steady forward progress over days and months and years. And then there’s often one big breakthrough. Outsiders only see the dramatic final stages of the process, but the roots are generally deep.

The best part of Sexton’s interview isn’t his explanation of how marriages decay, however. It’s the solution he offers couples. It’s only four words long, so no one has any excuse for forgetting it: “Love is a verb.”

“I’m a romantic, but I don’t believe in fairy tales. I think that we sell people a bill of goods about what love is supposed to look like. Love is a verb,” he insists. “Falling out of love is very slow. It’s a very gradual process. You put on weight slowly. … You don’t just wake up one day and you’ve gained 20 pounds. You very slowly gain weight, but sure enough, it happens. It’s the same thing with love.”

And not falling out of love, like not gaining weight, isn’t about dramatic gestures or heroic acts. It’s about a relentless daily commitment to small actions. It’s about doing things — not clamming up to avoid the fight, not complaining about how the towels are folded, reaching out a hand in a tense conversation. In other words, it’s a verb.

“If you want to keep your love alive, you have to be attentive to all the little things that go wrong along the way, and constantly course-correct. If you can do that, you’ll never set foot in my office,” Sexton concludes.

KLM strategy

PR like a pro / ‘KLM needs to do something to draw attention and earn media, instead of trying to outspend the others,’ Ralf Hesen, strategy director at DDB & Tribal, told Contagious. ‘KLM’s brand is its most differentiating asset.’ As we explained in our case study, KLM has significantly less marketing budget than some of its competitors and can’t afford to spend money on a global TV spot, so PR and social media have become an important part of its international marketing strategy.”


Conversational and personal search

“we are seeing that people are beginning to use more conversational search queries, which allow them to ask more pointed, specific, and personally relevant questions about the products and services they’re interested in.”

“The sort of advice people once sought from friends, they now expect to get from their phones. Marketers who understand emerging search trends have the advantage,”