Why people fail


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“1. They want the outcome more than they want to obtain a skill.
How many people do you know that speak often of something prestigious they want to be, and yet never actually take the necessary steps in order to become that very thing?
2. They care too much about what people think (and fear judgment in failure).
3. They mistake failure for lessons learned.
The best goal-setters know that failure is nothing more than a lesson in disguise.
4. They would rather throw in the towel than pivot.
People who give up on their goals stay entirely too attached to what their vision was at the onset, unwilling to compromise with the new information their journey has provided. They would rather chalk it all up as a failed venture than take what they’ve learned along the way, apply it, and allow their idea to change shape.
In short: they can’t let go of their original expectation.
5. They do not have the discipline to stick with their idea long enough to see it live.
Everybody wants to be “the idea guy” (or girl).
Most of the time, people give up on their goals simply because they lack discipline.
6. They get distracted by what someone else is doing.
Entrepreneurs are notorious for wanting to build the company someone else is building successfully.
7. They don’t believe in themselves enough.”

 

26 Life tips

1. Primacy and recency: People mostly remember the first and last things that occurred, barely the middle.

When scheduling an interview, ask the employer the time slots they do interviews and try to be the first or the last.

2. If you work in a bar or in customer service of any kind, put a mirror behind you at the counter.

In this way, angry customers who approach you will have to see themselves in the mirror behind you and the chance of them behaving irrationally will be lowered significantly.

3. Once you make a sales pitch, don’t say anything else.

This works in sales, but it can also be applied in other ways. My previous boss was training me and just gave me pointers. I was working at a gym trying to sell memberships. He told me that once I got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, the first person to talk would lose. It didn’t seem like a big deal but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the person tried to come up with some excuses, but usually they bought.

4. If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer, just wait.

If you stay silent and keep eye contact, they will usually continue to talk.

5. Chew gum when you’re approaching a situation that would make you nervous, like public speaking or bungee jumping.

When we eat, our brain tell ourselves, “I would not be eating if I were danger. So I’m not in danger.” This has helped me to stay calm.

6. People will always remember how you made them feel, not what you said.

Also, most people like talking about themselves; so ask lots of questions about them.

7. When you’re learning something new, teach it to a friend. Let them ask you questions about it.

If you’re able to teach something well, you will be sure that you’ve understood it very well.

8. If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you.

It doesn’t always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen the next time.

9. The physical effects of stress — breathing rate and heart rate — are almost identical to the physical effects of courage.

When you’re feeling stressed in any situations, immediately reframe it : Your body is getting ready to be courageous, you are NOT stressed.

10. Pay attention to people’s feet.

If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation, and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don’t want you to join in the conversation. Similarly, if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.

11. Fake it till you make it; confidence is more important than knowledge.

Don’t be intimidated by anyone, everyone is playing a role and wearing a mask.

12. If you pretend to be something for long enough, you will eventually become it.

13. Not to be creepy, but if you want to stare at someone unashamedly, look directly past them and wait for them to try and meet your eyes.

When they fail to do that, they’ll look around (usually nervously for a second) they won’t look at you again for some time. This is your chance to straight up stare at this person for at least 45 seconds.

If you’re staring at someone and get caught, DON’T turn your head or your body to look away, because that just confirms that you were staring. Just move your EYEBALLS off the person. Unlike turning your head, it’s instantaneous. And the person will think you were just looking at something behind them and that they were mistaken for thinking you were staring. Do it confidently, and ignore any reaction from the person, and you can sell it every single time. After a second you can even look back at them with a “Why are you staring at me?” look on your face to really cement the deal!

14. Build a network.

Become the information source, and let the information be yours. Even grabbing a beer with a former colleague once a year will keep you in the loop at the old office. Former co workers might have gotten a new position in that office you always wanted to work in, great! Go to them for a beer, and ask about the office. It’s all about connections and information.

15. If you are angry at the person in front of you driving like a grandmother…

Pretend it is your grandmother, it will significantly reduce your road rage.

16. Stand up straight

No slouching, hands out of pockets, and head held up high. It’s not just a cliche — you literally feel better and people around you feel more confident in you.

17. Avoid saying “I think,” and “I believe” unless absolutely necessary.

These are phrases that do not evoke confidence, and will literally do you no good.

18. When feeling anxious, clean up your home or work space.

You will feel happier and more accomplished than before.

19. Always buy the first pitcher or round of drinks.

You’d be surprised how long you could drink on the phrase “I bought the first one.”

20. Going into an interview… be interested in your interviewers.

If you focus on learning about them, you’ll seem to be more interesting and dynamic. (Again, people love to talk about themselves.)

21. Pay Attention Parents: Always give your kid a choice that makes them think they are in control.

For instance, when I want my son to put his shoes on I will say ,”do you want to put your star wars shoes on or your shark shoes on?” Pro-tip: In some cases, this works on adults.

22. Your action affect your attitude more than your attitude affects your action.

As my former teacher said “You can jump and dance FOR joy, but you can also jump and dance yourself joyful.”

23. When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.

24. If you want to build rapport or gain someone’s trust quickly, match their body posture and position.

If someone is sitting with her legs crossed, cross your legs. If they’re leaning away from you, lean away from them. If they’re leaning towards you, lean towards them. Mirroring and matching body position is a subconscious way to tell if someone trusts you or is comfortable with you. If you’re sitting with your arms crossed and you notice someone else is sitting with her arms crossed, that is a good indicator that you have/are successfully built/building rapport with that person.

25. The Benjamin Franklin Effect (suggested by Matt Miller)

I find the basis of the Benjamin Franklin effect is very useful and extends far beyond pencil borrowing. This knowledge is useful in the world of flirting too. Asking a girl in your class if you can borrow a pencil or her notes or to explain the homework will make her more likely to like you than if you let her borrow your stuff or are the one to help her. Even just asking a girl to buy you drinks (facetiously) leaves a much bigger impression than offering to or actually buying a girl a drink. The best part is it kills 3 birds with one stone: you get the advantages of the favor itself, the person subconsciously likes you more, and it makes them more open to future favors and conversation.

26. Handling Panic and Anxiety Behavior (Suggested by Jade Barbee)

When you’re feeling stressed, worried or angry, tap each finger tip while thinking (or speaking quietly) a few specific words about what is bothering you. Repeat the same words while tapping each of your 10 fingers, including thumbs. For example, tap while saying, “I’m so angry with her…” Doing so will likely take the charge out of the feeling and return you to a more resourceful (better feeling) state of being. It’s called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or “tapping,” and it is useful in many life situations – emotional sadness, physical pain, food cravings, traumatic memories…

Sprints by Seth Godin

A sprint

Most of us have two speeds.

There’s the grind, the day after day, a marathon, work work work.

And there’s the recovery, the sleep in, Netflix and chill zombie state that we compartmentalize into a day like today.

But what about sprints?

Not sprints because the boss or the client insists.

Sprints that we take on merely because they energize us and remind us of how much we can do when we get out of our own way. Sprints that build our capacity. Sprints to embolden us.

The best way to improve your marathon is to learn to sprint now and then.

Maybe you can’t sustain a sprint for a day.

But what about this afternoon? What could you learn or build or teach or contribute? What can you ship?